Realization
by Anbix
Summary: I thought that we could never have anything... I thought that he would never accept a useless angel like myself. But I was wrong... Told from Konan's POV.


_I still remember the world  
From the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings  
Were clouded by what I know now  
I still remember the sun  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow it seems colder now  
_

_Where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything_

* * *

I sigh contently, staring out into the rain: bleak and dull, the same thing every day. Today there was no wind or anything, just rain, pouring straight down. I sat in a chair beside the concrete window (which was actually just a rectangle about 3'x4' in perimeter) and watched the rain fall to the ground. I sigh again, watching the people meandering about; petty little people walking around living their petty lives. They lived in fear of my partner, but at the same time… They had the people they loved the most.

I realize that I have yet to find that special person, I know whom I want it to be, however he won't feel the same way. He never would want it to be that way. I'm his useless "Angel." God wouldn't want a petty "angel" for his life. He has others. I don't even know if he's heterosexual. He could be homosexual for all that I know.

I admit, that we have had our moments. I remember the last thing that happened, which is why I haven't been on a mission in a long time.

_We were on a mission to catch the three tails, but it had more power than we both estimated, for as young as it was, because it went for Pein. I rushed to take the hit for him and then got hit myself. The next thing I know, I'm on the ground in my own blood, struggling to stand, the blood unceasingly pouring out of me from various places where I was wounded. Then the next thing I know, we're on the run. Well, he is running and I'm being carried by him. I gazed up at his elegant features. But I saw worry in his gaze, the smallest bit. It was there. Was he worried about not catching the bijuu? Was he worried about what the others would say about him failing his mission? ... Was he worried about me? I didn't know, but I figured that it was about not catching the Bijuu and closed my eyes, letting myself be taken under the water again, the water of sleep. I was starting to be pulled away from the water some time later, I could hear muffled voices and feel hands on me, gentle hands. I open my eyes and gaze up, it's Pein. As soon as I open my eyes, his soft expression hardens. Was he angry at me? I winced as his gentle touch became a bit more rough._

_"S-sorry... Pein." I murmured softly, letting my eyelids fall shut again._

_"Don't be sorry, Konan. Just never do that again.." He said softly, moving some hair out of my face  
_

I can't help but think that any day now that he's going to bring it up and yell at me for making the decision to save him over killing the Bijuu. So I just sit in this chair, recovering from what had happened. I continue to stare outside then I hear someone come into the room, at first I'm surprised that someone would be coming in, but then feel relieved at feeling that it was Pein, from the chakra level. I sigh softly, and stop looking out the window at the petty little people below, then stare down at my lap.

"Konan," he started, his tone stiff.

"Hmm?" I reply, shifting my gaze back to the people. I envied their happiness, their sense of security with their meeting of friends, relatives, and loved ones.

"What are you doing?" He asked, sharply.

"Watching..." I answer lightly, not putting much care into it. Was he going to scold me now?

"Konan.. There's something that we should discuss," his tone was hard as it usually was, and I was sure that the scolding was coming.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out, not waiting for him to begin his lecture.

"I was going to thank you..." He murmured and came over to me, taking my hand from my lap and pulling me up from my chair. He practically dragged me over to the love seat, which nobody had ever "loved" on so I guess it was just a couch with two recliner cushions, and sat me down. It was a boring couch-with-two-recliner-cushions, the colour was gray.

"Thank me? I made the mission... I didn't capture the Bijuu.." My voice was barely audible as I gazed down at my lap, folding my hands again.

"What is an angel that doesn't protect their god?" He asked me, lifting up my head by my chin so my face was towards his. "Not a very worthy angel... Konan, you're the most important angel that I have got... You're the most worthy angel that I have..." He said, leaning in closer to me.

"Angel... The most worthy..?" I repeated, asking myself more than him. My stomach lurched at the close range that we were at, this was the closest to affection that he had shown me. I could feel my heartbeat quicken and could feel a blush emerging upon my cheeks. And he wouldn't stop, he just kept getting closer and closer until... Our lips actually touched for a period of time on his accord. This was the first time we actually _kissed_. I was excited and I couldn't help but add back, wrapping my arms around his neck. I longed for this day for so long, I wasn't going to let it end so quickly. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, until I was on his lap and then broke away for air.

"How are your wounds healing up, Konan?" He finally asked me, holding my cold body to his warm one.

"F-fine.." I said, still shocked at the sudden affection. But i liked it.

"Konan... Promise me that you'll stay.. We'll have a relationship. But you have to stay my angel. And believe in your god." He held my head to his chest and I could actually hear a heartbeat inside him. He was living. And so was I... We were alive and this was real.

"I will.." I agreed, closing my eyes.

"But we have to keep this a secret, the others will use it as an oppertunity to get to us.. They always take out the stronghold's vulnerable points. Nobody can know.." He murmured. I nodded and smiled. "Konan."

"Hmm?" I look up at him.

"I love you.." He said.

He said it. I smiled widely.

"I love you too, Pein." I said. And we stayed up late whispering sweet nothings in each others ears.

**END**


End file.
